SIGH
just had this whole lecture from mum about how you should be responsible for your future, when really i havent figured out anything in life, abotu life. it seems as if i cant distinguish between the reality and the virtual worlds. i still dont know for sure what i say is what i really think, and wether sometimes i’m saying things because its the truth or because i’m just trying to fool myself. especially when it comes to things like - what are you gonna do when you grow up? and all that stuff that you dont know for sure just now.
sometimes i wonder what will happen if i just give up on the whole idea of working hard and getting into uni, but im too scared to let it go, it will never happen. then what will happen if i dotn get a good mark in year 12?? will my parents really crack it? will i be dissapointed i myself fro the rest of my life? will i regret? and then i think, everyday we’re slowly dying, one day we will be totally out of this world and i feel that i should really enjoy life and forget about strving for success.
it just feels so confusing, you dont want to dissapoint your parents, you want yourself to be happy, and you want your life to be smooth, with no troubles. but what is happiness? howw do we even know that we’re truly happy? and how do we know if we have an easy life or a hard one?
i’m just ranting aon and venting out on tumblr cos its the best place to do it :)
